More on Loss


Bereavement is what happens to you; grief is what you feel; mourning is what you do.

Life can be likened to a river, generally running smoothly onwards with twists and turns, differing speeds, whirlpools and peaceful places. We’ll call this the ‘River of Life’. Then quite unexpectedly, we come to the ‘Waterfall of Bereavement.’

As we tumble down this waterfall we experience some unfamiliar feelings such as shock, numbness and denial - we feel as if we’re falling apart. The physical, mental and spiritual can be in turmoil and we feel on the rocks with overwhelming pain.

In time we move onto accepting the reality of the loss, reorganisation and living and loving again. Dealing with loss and restoration can be done at the same time.

Mourning loss is the work of bereavement but it’s also the work of restoration. Mourning is a process that cannot be hurried or ignored. It can be postponed, but ultimately the work must be done.