Updated: Mar 27
Imagine a small rural African village with many small huts and little pathways between them. The huts have their own nameplates such as; Shock, Sorrow, Anger, Apathy, Depression. There is also a hut named Restoration.
In bereavement you’ll spend some time in each hut, differing amounts of time, perhaps visiting a few different huts all in one day. You may go back and forth, shifting between the huts; an ebb and flow of thoughts and feelings. So you sit, and a healing work is being done although it may not feel like it is.
There will be dry times and numbness, emotional and spiritual. It takes patience but new life is coming.
You don’t need to wait until all the work is done to enter the hut called Restoration; it really helps to pop in and out of this hut. By spending time here, it will help you to adjust to daily life, to living without your loved one.
Grieving and restoration can be done at the same time…that’s encouraging news.
Restoration means getting back to the activities you formally enjoyed, beginning some new ones; days and meals out, sports matches, seeing friends, shopping, laughing again. Eventually you will spend more time in the hut of Restoration than the other huts.
Its not disloyal to begin to enjoy life again, you won’t forget your loved one, you will remember them without the disabling grief; this grief will cease to be the main focus of your day.
As you move on it may help to set aside a specific time for grief, such as sharing with a friend, meditating on a scripture.
Psalm 94:19 says ’ When my anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.’
Psalm 30:5 ‘Weeping may endure for a night but rejoicing comes in the morning.’
Deuteronomy 33:27 ‘For underneath are the everlasting arms.’
And this is God’s promise to us,
‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away’.