• Ursula


Recently in previous ‘Church Sofa’ blogs we have read about different personalities and different learning styles – it’s very thought provoking, isn’t it?

We are unique individuals! Out of the billions of people on Earth; there’s only one of us, so why try to be like someone else?

However, it can be a struggle to ‘find’ ourselves. There seem to be three optimum ages in our lives when this struggle is most evident –

Toddler tantrums.

The ‘rebellious’ teenage years.

The ‘midlife crisis’ times.

It’s far better to ‘find ourselves’ when we are young and in a loving home. There is less at stake during this time than in the ‘midlife crisis’, when we have relationships, careers and responsibilities.

Social media has a huge influence over young people in particular; pointing out flaws and inadequacies, showing them the sort of life they ‘should’ lead. Social media has many positives aspects but if we’re not careful, it can harm our mental health. There is the pressure to present ourselves well, and comparisons can cause insecurity.

We might find ourselves changing to accommodate other people; if we feel like we can’t be ourselves or that we don’t know who we are. We may manipulate people’s view of us for fear or pride. It takes courage to break out of conformity.

Psalm 51:6 tells us that ‘God desires truth in our innermost parts’. God wants us to live honest and authentic lives because it is in this that we find freedom - John 8:32. It’s such a relief to be yourself, and the world will adjust to you!

Young people - your mates will be just as insecure as you are! They will have their own problems beneath their ‘confidence’ and they are not looking at you at all.

When you become real, it gives your friends permission to do so as well, and that makes you more attractive.

What helps -

Journaling is a great place to start; it can identify your personal values and the things you care about.

Ask yourself are you enjoying what you are doing?

Don’t chase after people who don’t want you, or who aren’t good for you. You are far too precious for this.

Remember ‘The Lord takes great delight in you …’ Zephaniah 3:17.

“Be yourself, because the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.” - Dr Seuss.